Shiloh (tired), Jonali, Priya & Elijah. (Taking a quick photo at the concert while Timothy & Joshua were in the bathroom!)
When I was a mom of 2, EVERYTHING was centered around Elijah & Priya’s nap schedules and bedtimes. I wouldn’t change them for really anything. I wanted to be in complete control. Is a schedule a bad thing with littles? No. But when you can be inflexible because of it or think to yourself, “well what if the child gets moody if they don’t get a perfect nap?” Or, “I can’t stay out with them too late because they’ll get too tired”. Then, maybe it’s time to not give into the “what if’s” and let go and trust God.
Last week, I heard that some favorite worship artists were coming a few hours away to do a night worship concert. The Jonali of two kids only a few years ago would have been like, “are you crazy!?” Or, I would have tried to get a babysitter. But the Jonali (now of 4) who has learned to be more surrendered through Christ was excited about the idea and asked Timothy right away, and he agreed. I think one of the things that God used to help me to become more flexible was our outreach trip to Uganda a few years ago. Priya & Elijah were 2 & 4 at the time, and let me tell you, I had my western kids bed time schedule, and when we arrived, everything became Ugandan time. There, you get breakfast around 10, lunch around 3, and dinner around 9. Talk about a nightmare for a westerner mom with two kids under 5. Did I try and assert my schedule into their culture? Absolutely not, especially because they were serving our entire team of 14 when we came. What kind of witness would that have been on my part? Through God’s help of letting me let go, we adapted.
(Flashback to Uganda with Elijah and Priya were 2 & 4!)
I have learned, in my walk with God, that control is the polar opposite of surrender. Having children, as any mom can probably agree with, forces us to die more to self. We are town between our kids and adapting them to life. We need guidance by the Holy Spirit to have the wisdom to balance the two. For me, that is where my husband comes into play. As the leader of the home, major decisions get defaulted to him. As a woman, sometimes my emotions can get it in the way, but Timothy has helped me so much to make wise decisions and look at the bigger picture, which has helped me grow in my walk with God. The older I get, the more I have let go, especially when it comes to my children, because at the end of the day, the most important thing is for them to have a relationship with God modeled before them, not a control freak trying to be in control. I do believe there is a spirit of control, and I know there can be generations of that spirit passed down, so I need more of God’s help fighting that “natural tendency” in my life.
I don’t think I have been to a late worship concert since I was a single, young adult. And I know God wanted us to go. I didn’t think about bedtimes, especially for the little ones and the concert went until almost 11, with us not getting home until closer to midnight. What is beautiful was towards the end of the night, Joshua fell asleep in my arms, and Shiloh in Timothys. We just looked at each other and smiled. God spoke to both of us during this time, with our four kids present. We didn’t need to be in a quiet room by ourselves to hear from God. He can speak anywhere, anytime, the question is, are we always listening?
