Upon arriving in Australia just a few weeks ago, in the midst of staff training, looking for a place to rent, being a mom and getting ready for the next school to come in, I somehow managed to get a book in that a friend let me borrow here (thank You, Lord). For those of you that don’t know Heidi Baker, she is one of the most surrendered believers that I am aware of. Miraculously she prayed for me when I was extremely ill a few years ago in New Jersey. She emanates Jesus wherever she goes and lives the yielded life beautifully. She is originally from Cali, has a PhD, but left it all to win the nation of Mozambique, Africa for Jesus. She has been through a fair amout of adversity, “I might have given up when people shot at me or when gangs were chasing me. I might have given up when we were in deep psychological distress after friends of ours in the Congo were dismembered in a church with machetes. I might have given up the fifth, sixth or seventh occasion when crowds began to stone me for preaching about Jesus. Most especially, I might have given up with my husband, Rolland, get cerebral malaria and suffered a series of micro strokes that almost killed him. Though he was eventually healed, for two years he lost his short-term memory and was totally unable to function in ministry or administration”
I might add shes been sick numerous times with things like MS, malaria, GI infections and much more, she has been healed every, single, time. She also, in Christ, has prayed over the blind (and they see), prayed over the deaf (and they hear), prayed over the dead (and they raise). She gets up every day early to pray 3-5 hours, a lot of time in tongues. You may wonder why maybe your average Christian doesn’t live like this or see these miracles on a regular basis. It all boils down to the simplest thing, how surrendered we are to His Lordship. How much we believe in His word. How much we have renewed our mind to become like Him. How obedient we have been to His voice in the small, and large things. It’s quite simple actually, how child-like is our faith?
After getting ill, a lot of un-surrendered areas of my life came to the surface. First and foremost, my thought life, which directly had a correlation to the bondage of control, fear, anxiety & depression. I realized I had not been made perfect in love, because if I was, fear wouldn’t have been a part of my life. I also realized I was an unbelieving, believer, if that is even possible. This book was another reminder to me of how much I still struggle with surrender, and that God is not really able to use someone who still holds on to control. In the book, Heidi had a vision of two white horses, they had veins on their necks and bits in their mouths. The reins were reaching straight up to heaven. Jesus said in the vision, “Release control”. I will hold the reins to this revival. I will decide where the chariots run. Tell the church to release the reins to Me. Holy is the Lamb. I’ve realized in my years with the Lord, control is the opposite of surrender, God has no place to bless us if our hands and heart is constantly closed.
I struggle to even get up 30 minutes early to spend time with Him let alone 3-5 hours! How can I not want to though, the God of the universe, who created me and knows my inmost being wants to woo me into His presence. If we don’t abide in Him, we have nothing to give (John 15). The heart of this book was spending time with Him every day, because we have nothing to give if we ourselves aren’t being filled by the One who gives life and gives it abundant. We don’t have to give up everything and move to Africa. If God puts that on your heart, you would be excited about it. Maybe its something small like spending an hour with Him everyday, or giving up certain foods like chocolate or drinking coffee, or even it could be something major like quitting a job and becoming a missionary. Whatever He is speaking, be obedient to, each step of obedience brings peace, joy and deeper relationship. Don’t allow the pleasures of this world to entice you away, allow the Creator of the Universe to instead woo you away into His love and perfect will for your life, to the point where nothing else satisfies. “I came to give life, and give it to the full” (John 10:10)
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