When you are about to have your fourth child, and you went into labor with your other three at 38 weeks, you sort of have an expectation that you’ll go into labor around that time again. Well, that didn’t happen, and around 39 weeks came. My midwife had a conversation with me about my blood pressure levels and felt that we should naturally induce at home. I had been doing epsom salt baths every night because the magnesium did help with my levels and I would much rather that than medication. Timothy and I thought and prayed about it, and decided she should come. I really wanted to have my fourth at home and not have to rush to the hospital so we figured it would be a good time to induce now at 39 weeks, when usually moms with high blood pressure are induced around 37 weeks. So the next day, she came with a doula. The first thing she suggested was to start by ingesting castor oil. Now, if anyone knows anything about castor oil, it is a laxative that gives you pretty bad diarrhea. Timothy did some research and felt like lets do it. We cooked some eggs with it so I wasn’t just drinking straight oil, and about an hour later (4pm), not only did the contractions start, but the diarrhea did as well. It certainly was not fun for my body going through both of those things at the same time, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do, and I’d rather that than an IV at the hospital with pitocin. The beautiful thing was that I was able to labor at home, with my children, walking around the house, bouncing on a ball, and watching the peaceful river in the backyard. It was not intense at first, but definitely progressed as the evening went on.
The midwife and doula left for dinner, and came back and suggested taking some herbs to try and accelerate the labor. Timothy did do some research on the herbs and did not have a peace about me taking them, as well as not bringing in essential oils that the doula suggested (there are reasons behind this that I will not write publicly, but if you are curious, you can reach out). When the contractions got stronger, I took a hot shower and sat in our Jacuzzi tub to try and ease the pain. Well, the contractions actually slowed after that. When we started going into the evening hours, after 10pm, Timothy started to feel nauseous and light headed. He seemed to think it was spiritual, especially the timing of it and coming out of no where. The midwife decided to check to see if I was dilated, and at that point I was about 5-6 centimeters. Around midnight, she suggested that we break the water. Timothy went to go pray and call a brother to pray with him about it. At first, I felt, of course I went to break the water, why start the process all over again and laboring for 6 hours. Timothy came back and didn’t feel peace about it, again, and I really believe it was the Lord, but I decided against it too, knowing we could be right around the corner from meeting our baby finally. Everyone was getting tired and between Timothy not feeling good, me wanting a break to just lay down and try and get some sleep, and the midwife and doula being there for so long, we decided that they go, and we just try and get some rest. I took another shower to try and get some relief again, and finally laid down in bed around 1AM. I had felt more peace and rest, and I think because of that, my contractions started to increase in frequency and pain. I sat up in bed to go to the bathroom, and my water broke on its own. Immediately, I started to scream in pain. Timothy immediately called the midwife to come back and she had just gotten back to sleep, and was about twenty-five minutes away. Based on my screaming, Timothy knew that was probably too far away. He went into the kids room because he wanted help. Now, previous to this, we were back and fourth with my daughter Priya in the room while I give birth because she really wanted to be there. Now, it wasn’t a thought anymore but we need her! My 9-year old son was in charge of praying and watching his 2-year old brother.
I tried to find different positions on the bed to get comfortable while in the last stage of pushing. The traditional hospital way is to get your legs in stirrups just sitting back and pushing, which I tried, but my body was saying just get on all fours and push. One push, Shiloh’s head was out! Meanwhile, Priya is watching and Timothy is on the phone with the midwife telling her everything. I continue to just scream and push, and minutes later, Timothy catches the baby while on the phone with the midwife. I didn’t hear him crying, so I asked Timothy, is he breathing?? He said yes, but didn’t cry for a little while. Now, having a little bit of pain relief, I lay down and hold my new baby with joy and excitement. I say, it’s a boy (which we were all surprised thinking it was a girl). The midwife and doula showed up about 5 minutes later and wanted to deliver the placenta right away. She originally had thought she might need to give me pitocin after for bleeding and because of the high blood pressure, but thankfully I delivered the placenta with minimal bleeding. Because Shiloh was 9lbs 2oz, I did tear and needed get stitches as well. So the kids went back to sleep and we did that and enjoyed the first few hours with our new baby!
Looking back, we would not have it any other way. God led us specifically through the whole process and even made it so that our family could work as a team and we could birth the baby at home, with no medical attention. It was one of the most beautiful moments of our life and is a memory and story that we will never forget. We chose not to make decisions based on fear and what-ifs and just be told what to do, but with the guidance of Holy Spirit. He wants us to live a life of making decisions with Him, moment by moment. I think the outcome would have been very different if we just blindly made decisions in our flesh. It was a huge learning lesson for Timothy and I and just are still blown away by the grace of God.