This is an extension of the post I wrote last week, except I am probably a little more emotional at the time! Nesting is a real thing, especially as the baby nears the due date! Here are the three major circumstances that are coming up in our lives in a few months:
- 4th baby due mid-August (planning a homebirth with a midwife)
- Don’t have a home to live in soon (the house we are under contract for is now saying July, but they have been pushing it back every month)
- First book coming out probably after the baby at this point (wanted to release before but they are also taking a long time since I didn’t accept the first cover they sent through)
The only date I have that is the most definitive right now is the baby’s due date (but then again my 3 other children have all come 2 weeks early, so thats not really definitive either), and for someone that likes to plan, this is a mama’s worst nightmare!
Who can relate with me here? Who has times in their lives where people are letting them down, or circumstances? And when you have a pregnant, hormonal mother in her final trimester in the heat of a Florida summer, it truly tests where she stands in her faith. It’s funny with God sometimes, you think you have victory over something, and then something comes up where it’s like wow, maybe I am not free in this area. It’s like a bad habit thats really hard to fix after years of doing it. Why is it so hard for people to stop drugs, or pornography, or eating unhealthy? Because it’s been years, and that’s all someone knows to go to for stress, or deep pain dug under the surface from their childhood. It’s not “natural” to go to God because our flesh (or sin) wars with our spirit, and the enemy will do everything he can to make residence in us where he can feel at home. Romans 8 explains this pretty well:
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8: 5-8) It goes onto say in verse 13: If you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
I would say when I fix my eyes on what is “seen” or the “flesh” I stress out, but when I fix my eyes on what is unseen (faith), there is peace. It is probably because I am trying to be in control, verses letting go and letting God, and allowing Him to really lead. I am sure people know the song, “Let Jesus take the wheel”. It all boils down to obedience and surrender, and who put our trust in, ourselves or God. I remember in the middle of a battle with lyme disease where there was no end in sight I was taking a walk and God spoke to me saying, “Jonali I want to show you more with your eyes closed than open”. Meaning, life is birthed out of the unseen, time with Him, faith in Him and allowing His word to be our guide. Also, the promises of God have conditions. For example, Matthew 6:33 says, “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you”. And after that, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble”. These scriptures aren’t just words on a page, they are life advice for those who want to please God.
I am first to admit I am not perfect at this at all, but when I actually take my eyes off myself or my circumstances, and fix them on Jesus, “all these things are added” unto me and I can go to bed fully at rest and peace that there is a Father who loves me and wants whats best for me, all I have to do is trust Him daily, so that I am not carrying the burden that He carries.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)